hey there. so i've been MIA for literally a better part of the time that i've had this blog - i started it in 2012, stopping in 2013 when i deleted all the posts because i felt that it's really amateur blogging and so cringe-worthy. haha.
so yeah. i'm back.
though i definitely won't be able to post updates regularly (like on alternate days) because in about less than a year's time, i'll be having my gce o's and i have to spend a whole ass of time studying and preparing for it. but for now, i have a month and a half more of break, and i'll try to squeeze a post in at least once a week in between my revision and other stuff. when school reopens in january i'll be busier but i'll do my best to post whenever i can.
and i've decided to change up my blogging content because well, i've changed since i started four years ago when i was an awkward preteen finding a way to cope with the world around me. i've lost all viewers but i don't bother about that now. i'm blogging for myself, to express myself. since that couple of years ago, my hobbies have changed and so have i. i feel like i've dug in deeper into who i am and who i'm meant to be. now i'm more mature in thinking and more certain of who i am and what i like, need, want and the path i wanna carve out for myself.
each of my posts will be centered around different themes, based on my thoughts, feelings, or favorite quotes.
but since this is my first post in four years, i'll just talk about myself for a bit.
since i was a little girl i've loved reading, and writing. i grew up with mainly books being my constant companion. from a young age, i got into the harry potter world; my mum was a huge fan of the books since the sorcerer's stone was published in 1997. in 2001 when i was born, the first movie was released and from there, my mum read the books to me. i was always more interested in books and films as compared to other things so i'd be super stoked when my mother would bring out the mattress to the living room where we'd watch the harry potter movies while she'd explain what was going on to me and i'd try to listen despite being a clueless little kid. but harry potter was a huge part of my growing up, contributing to my obsession with not only the fictional magical world, but also introducing me to my adoration of books.
as for writing, i guess i always had a tinge of interest in it. i loved english and honestly, i'd write killer compositions as compared to my classmates. sometimes, i'd hide under the stairs and write poems, short stories and other stuff. i even tried to write i song about my love for chocolate but it was weird. as i got to primary school, i realised that my bunch of friends weren't the smart ones, with the exception of one guy. the rest got mediocre band 2's and 3's while he and i mainly aced everything. later on, i felt like i had to dumb myself so that people wouldn't be afraid of me and i really regret that because i lost my foundation and scored in the 60-70 range.
as i neared puberty, i got really conscious about what others thought of me and went down a downward spiral. i had this friend who introduced me to blogging but she was pretty darn nasty and it was the blog posts by each other that eventually tore our clique's friendship apart. i felt like i had to give in to others all the time and care about theirs feelings more than i should prioritize my own, and that it would be the end of the world if people didn't share my views or like me.
now, i know better. i guess some people might say that i've hardened and put up walls. some people think i'm cold, or harsh. i just feel like i've gotta protect myself first. i'm living my own life, throughout my whole life. i don't wanna be the one who spent a huge chunk of her life worrying about the perspectives of others. i can control my life, and whatever else that is in my limit, so i will do my best about it.
if you ask me, i'd say i'm straightforward and i know what i want. i'm a huge perfectionist which brings about my procrastinating side. i tend to leave things that i know i can do better up until the time when i have better resources to complete the task. it happens more often than not. i'm really lazy, no doubt. sometimes my inner self emerges and i'm too scared to go after what i want. but most of the time when i'm really sure that i want something and i am almost sure that i can achieve it, i will do my best to go all the way out.
i guess you'll get to know me better throughout my upcoming posts.
it's great to be back though the feeling is different because i'm different now and my content will be completely different as compared to my old posts, and i'm sure my new content will be reeling in a different demographic. i hope you'll enjoy my posts just as much as i enjoy writing them.
i'll check in again soon!
xoxo, cali.
so yeah. i'm back.
though i definitely won't be able to post updates regularly (like on alternate days) because in about less than a year's time, i'll be having my gce o's and i have to spend a whole ass of time studying and preparing for it. but for now, i have a month and a half more of break, and i'll try to squeeze a post in at least once a week in between my revision and other stuff. when school reopens in january i'll be busier but i'll do my best to post whenever i can.
and i've decided to change up my blogging content because well, i've changed since i started four years ago when i was an awkward preteen finding a way to cope with the world around me. i've lost all viewers but i don't bother about that now. i'm blogging for myself, to express myself. since that couple of years ago, my hobbies have changed and so have i. i feel like i've dug in deeper into who i am and who i'm meant to be. now i'm more mature in thinking and more certain of who i am and what i like, need, want and the path i wanna carve out for myself.
each of my posts will be centered around different themes, based on my thoughts, feelings, or favorite quotes.
but since this is my first post in four years, i'll just talk about myself for a bit.
since i was a little girl i've loved reading, and writing. i grew up with mainly books being my constant companion. from a young age, i got into the harry potter world; my mum was a huge fan of the books since the sorcerer's stone was published in 1997. in 2001 when i was born, the first movie was released and from there, my mum read the books to me. i was always more interested in books and films as compared to other things so i'd be super stoked when my mother would bring out the mattress to the living room where we'd watch the harry potter movies while she'd explain what was going on to me and i'd try to listen despite being a clueless little kid. but harry potter was a huge part of my growing up, contributing to my obsession with not only the fictional magical world, but also introducing me to my adoration of books.
as for writing, i guess i always had a tinge of interest in it. i loved english and honestly, i'd write killer compositions as compared to my classmates. sometimes, i'd hide under the stairs and write poems, short stories and other stuff. i even tried to write i song about my love for chocolate but it was weird. as i got to primary school, i realised that my bunch of friends weren't the smart ones, with the exception of one guy. the rest got mediocre band 2's and 3's while he and i mainly aced everything. later on, i felt like i had to dumb myself so that people wouldn't be afraid of me and i really regret that because i lost my foundation and scored in the 60-70 range.
as i neared puberty, i got really conscious about what others thought of me and went down a downward spiral. i had this friend who introduced me to blogging but she was pretty darn nasty and it was the blog posts by each other that eventually tore our clique's friendship apart. i felt like i had to give in to others all the time and care about theirs feelings more than i should prioritize my own, and that it would be the end of the world if people didn't share my views or like me.
now, i know better. i guess some people might say that i've hardened and put up walls. some people think i'm cold, or harsh. i just feel like i've gotta protect myself first. i'm living my own life, throughout my whole life. i don't wanna be the one who spent a huge chunk of her life worrying about the perspectives of others. i can control my life, and whatever else that is in my limit, so i will do my best about it.
if you ask me, i'd say i'm straightforward and i know what i want. i'm a huge perfectionist which brings about my procrastinating side. i tend to leave things that i know i can do better up until the time when i have better resources to complete the task. it happens more often than not. i'm really lazy, no doubt. sometimes my inner self emerges and i'm too scared to go after what i want. but most of the time when i'm really sure that i want something and i am almost sure that i can achieve it, i will do my best to go all the way out.
i guess you'll get to know me better throughout my upcoming posts.
it's great to be back though the feeling is different because i'm different now and my content will be completely different as compared to my old posts, and i'm sure my new content will be reeling in a different demographic. i hope you'll enjoy my posts just as much as i enjoy writing them.
i'll check in again soon!
xoxo, cali.
